I don't often have bad days, but today has definitely been one. I guess you can say I got up on the wrong side of the bed. No, actually, you can't say that because it's been bad before I even got out of bed. It could be because I'm PMSing, or because two zits popped up this morning, or because I have an overwhelmingly huge stack of homework to do, or because I'm BROKE until the end of the month.. or maybe it's because I haven't heard back from a career counselor that I've been trying to make an appointment with sometime before Finals Week (one week away), or because I realized that I may not get an internship before Spring term and I may graduate with limited career options if I can't find one, or because I also realized that I chose a major that will most likely get me jobs that are underpaid, or because I'm starting to regret not applying to grad school, or because I'm thinking I am probably just screwed. My best guess is that the reason is a combination of these.
I'm just so OVERWHELMED. I'm graduating in June and I have NO IDEA what I want to do! What if I can't find a decent job, and I'll have to work in fast food or at Walmart to make ends meet before I find something? What if I can't find anything local and will have to move out of town, or worse, out of Oregon? I'm just scared I guess, and I need to hear back from the damn counselor. I don't even know what my options are. I've procrastinated too much too long. I thought I would grow out of that habit after high school. But these last 4 years has surprisingly improved my procrastination. I'm very skillful at it now. I always get things done, and maybe I just work better under time pressure. Too bad this isn't the case this time.
Oh well. I guess all that I can do is wait for the career counselor to get back to me, meet with him, and just go from there. Worst case scenario: he tells me that there is nothing he can do for me, and just wishes me luck. In that case, my boyfriend will finally get his wish granted, and we'll move to Canada.
I just wish it wasn't so damn cold up there.
I just wish it wasn't so damn cold up there.
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