It's finally Spring Break, and I have nearly two whole weeks off of school before the last term of my college career. I'm stoked to have this time off, and I'm celebrating it by vegging in front of the TV at 4pm while still in my pajamas. It feels amazing to be relaxed and lazy, but I'm still not as de-stressed as I thought I'd be.

I met with the career counselor last Friday, and he showed me around a couple of UO websites that are used to find internships and job opportunities. I was hoping he would lead me to a certain internship, but apparently I was stupid to think that he would. There are a bunch of opportunities on those sites that I need to explore. I'll have to pick which ones are right for me and then apply to them. However, I have yet to make a resume. There's a resume builder on the site plus the counselor gave me a resume formatting guide. I know it's simple to make one, but why I'm I dreading to do it? I've been thinking up the lamest excuses to procrastinate it all. Seriously, I'm sitting in my pajamas at 4pm and haven't been doing anything but be completely lazy. I have NO reason not to start looking for an internship that I know I need ASAP. Why? Why am I putting this off? Why am I treating this like it's something to be scared of?

Maybe I'm scared of being rejected. Maybe I know that I am about to take a crucial step toward the rest of my life, and I'm horrified that I will screw up and make a regrettable decision. Thinking about life post-graduation is an overwhelming nightmare. Yes, I am scared of being rejected. Yes, I'm scared of putting hard work into something, only to end up with nothing. Yes, I am scared of making a wrong decision, and feeling regret later on in life. I'm scared of failing. Being in school was comforting for me. When I entered UO, I knew that I would be there for 4 years and I won't have to enter the real world until I graduate. When I finished my frosh year I knew I still had 3 years.. after my soph year I knew I still had 2 years, then 1 year when I finished my jr year. Now I will be pushed into the real world in 3 months. In 3 months I will either be volunteering through an internship, employed, or desperately unemployed. Now is the time for me to take action towards post-graduate employment, and I simply CAN'T procrastinate anymore.

I need to take the first step 

and build my freaking resume.

Tomorrow.