Okay, so I'm like 98.76% sure that I just nailed my dream job before graduation. I really don't want to jinx myself, and I'm trying so hard to stay calm and not get my hopes up again, but yeah, I'm pretty sure I got it! I had my interview today, and my interviewer talked about the job while using "You will ____ ... you will get trained to ____ ... you will learn to ____ .... you will get paid ____ ..." You get the idea. Saying "will" instead of "would" is a huge difference. She loved that I'm very flexible with hours, and she wrote down which days I'm available before graduation (Fridays and weekends), and asked me what days I would need off in the next 90 days. She also let me observe the staff, and I met a lot of really nice people and a very adorable group of kids. I'd be surprised if I don't get hired.

It really depends on the lighting. Sometimes the hair looks dark brown, light brown, red brown, or bright red (in the sun). It's quite confusing actually. But if someone asks me what my hair color is, I guess brownish red explains it best. I just got bored with my hair and decided that it was time for a change. It makes perfect sense too, since I am at a point in my life when everything is changing for me. 

I'm ending a chapter in my life, and soon starting a new one.. a big one. I'm just a couple of months away from officially starting my life in the Real World (whoever claims that starting college is a transition into the real world is full of crap.. I used to claim that and quickly realized how wrong I was) -  Instead of  living off of my financial aid, I'll be starting an actual career and working for my money, while paying back the money that I have been using to pay my rent/bills/groceries/insurance/everything for the past four years. Instead of doing homework every night, I'll be relaxing cooking, cleaning, and bitching about how exhausted I am from my day's work (the level of bitching will greatly depend on the job I'll have, which is hopefully a job that I'll enjoy and can actually use my degree for, but you'll never know with our society's crappy current economic situation). My relationship with Jake has become increasingly more serious and committed (we've been talking a lot about future plans, wedding, kids, though he hasn't officially popped the question yet - he's currently saving for a ring - we're basically engaged, or "engaged to be engaged" as he puts it). In a matter of a few years I'll be engaged, married, buying a house, and picking out baby names. 

So I went to my eye doc for an exam and an upgraded prescription. I have an astigmatism in both eyes, which causes my vision to get worse each year. Instead of just ordering a new supply of contact lenses I decided to buy a new pair of specs as well (the ones I had before I've had since middle school, and I couldn't see anything with them). Jake demanded helped me pick out which ones to get, and he we decided on this pair of Liz Claibornes. The quality of this pic sucks but it's the best one I've got for now.

I also thought I should mention that I may be MIA for a while. This term is basically wanting me to ditch my life and work nonstop. If I find a slot of time, I'll update y'all, but I'm not making any promises.

So until next time,

I'm sitting in the student union, eating amazing pad thai, and figured I would blog while waiting for my next class. 

Spring term started yesterday, and I'm really liking my classes so far.. which is good because this is my last term EVER. I'm taking Sociology of Mental Health, Human Sexuality, Nonviolent Social Change, and Group Cycling.

Sociology of Mental Health is a class focused on society's interpretation of mental health, meaning we will be learning about the ways that doctors diagnose and label people who they consider mentally ill, how they are treated, and so on. This class reminds me of the study I once read for another class about a researcher who went undercover in an asylum as a patient, and while he displayed absolutely no symptoms, he was labeled and treated as a seriously ill individual. It's messed up. The books I had to purchase for this class were memoirs of people who considered themselves mentally ill (schizophrenic, bipolar, depressed, etc) and underwent treatment. You may recognize the title Girl, Interrupted. That's one of our books, and I was assigned to do a group presentation on it. Yay!

I am going to LOVE my Human Sexuality class. The very first thing we did was break into groups and make a list of all of the nicknames that people have for penis and vagina. Awesome ice breaker, in my opinion. Then we had to shout them all to the teacher while he wrote them on the chalk board. The list was extreeemely long, and we didn't even get to half of what we came up with. Here are some examples of what we came up with for penis: tonsil tickler, pogo stick, spitting cobra, purple headed soldier, mushroom tip.. and vagina: bermuda triangle, cock holster, sperm catcher, bearded clam, honey pot.. these were the names I've never heard of. The rest were all obvious nicknames that almost everyone recognizes.

Nonviolent Social Change reminds me a lot of the Social Movements class I took last year. We will be reading about MLK Jr, Ghandi, and other nonviolent activists. I'm against violence and war, and I'm sure I'll take a lot out of this class. Today we had to talk about our personal exeriences, and how we have handled conflicts. I talked about how Jake and I flip a coin sometimes to solve disagreements. Other people talked about being passive aggressive, screaming, storming out, etc. One girl even talked about stealing curtains from her roomate who moved out without warning. I love that we are all open and honest :)

I needed one more credit to graduate, so I decided to take a PE class. I took cycling last year and loved it, so I'm taking it again. It's intense, and I need more cardio. I've actually made it my goal this term to lose a few pounds and tone up a bit. Eat healthier (no more Taco Bell, which will be one of my biggest challenges) and work out more. Oh and drink a lot of water. I hardly drink any water, but I guess it's important, so I will be drinking more of it. 

So those are my classes, and what I will be focused on for the last 3 months of my college career.

<---- This is how I feel today.

On Friday, I finally stumbled upon an internship opportunity that I'm totally qualified for. And not just that, it was PERFECT for me. A social work internship at a mental health clinic. I want a job that allows me to directly help people, and I'm also taking a Sociology of Mental Health class for Spring Term (which started today, but I'll get into that later). It felt so meant to be! I typed up a kick ass cover letter, and emailed it with my resume. There was finally hope for me, and I had felt so lost and hopeless this past month when I couldn't find anything available. Let's just say, it was an awesome start to my weekend.

I couldn't wait to check my email this morning because I knew I would hear back today. Unfortunately the Spring Term slots were already filled up :( :( :( It's because I procrastinated so damn long! I'm totally beating myself up because of this (not literally!). I feel that the internship was mine. I was totally qualified, and I know that they would hire me if I applied sooner. I'm not trying to be cocky, but realistically, I would have had that internship in the bag: I've been on the Dean's list for the past 4 terms (with straight A's for the last 3 terms), I'm in two honor societies, and I'm also taking a mental health class! UGGGGHHH. Whatever. I guess I deserve it. Now I need to start all over and pray I find something. I'm back to feeling kinda hopeless. Mostly just bummed out beyond belief. I knew I shouldn't get my hopes up, but I totally did. I guess it really wasn't meant to be.

But I had a GREAT weekend. My severely sore throat greatly improved (and is 97% better now), and Jake and I took a trip to Florence to hang at the beach and gamble at Three Rivers Casino. Jake won 50 bucks, while I broke even, and since I didn't lose anything I believe I came out a winner :)

The beach was BEAUTIFUL. Here is a pic of Jake and I at our favorite spot: Heceta Head Lighthouse. 

 We like to climb the cliff, and sit down while watching the waves crash on the rocks (as you can see from the reflection off of my aviators).

 One of my favorite beaches ever. I love the Oregon Coast :)

I'm not usually one to read for fun. I already have too much reading for school. But there is one author that I just can't get enough of during school breaks. Nora Roberts. For those of you who have never heard of her (which is impossible unless you've never picked up a romance novel before, or any novel for that matter) she is a fictional genius. She is known primarily as a romance novelist, but she is so much more than that. Her books involve romance as well as mystery, suspense, sex, fantasy, magic, action, and total awesomness. 

My mom turned me on to her a long time ago. She gave me her book titled Midnight Bayou, and I LOVED it because I was just expecting a mushy romance novel, but instead I got a suspense/mystery/action novel with a side of romance. Next I read her Key trilogy. AMAZING! 

 

If you have never read a book by her, I demand that you do. I turned a couple of my friends on to her, and they love her too. I recommend reading her Sign of Seven trilogy, and her Circle trilogy (both pictured on the left). Those are my favorites.. so far. She makes characters that you end up caring about, and you almost cry when the trilogies end. I actually did cry. After both trilogies. I didn't want them to end! That's how amazing Nora's writings are.

 

I am currently reading Bed of Roses, which the second book of her Bride Quartet. There isn't any mystery or action, but there is fun, friendship, and romance with characters that you love and relate to.

On any other day I would still be sleeping for another 3 or so hours, but I had a very interesting - and very disgusting - wake up call this morning.. Ladies and gentlemen, I got my very first bloody nose. Ewwwww I know. I fucking FREAKED OUT. I have this nasty cold, so I assumed that my nose was just a little runny.. until I sat up and saw blood on my pillow, and then the blood became a river coming out of my nose. I ran to the bathroom to frantically pull out some toilet paper to plug my nose, and then I got a glimpse of myself in the mirror. I looked like I lost a fist fight. It was sick. Since I've never had a bloody nose before, I had to google How to Stop a Nose Bleed. I guess you need to pinch your nose (just under the bridge) with your thumb and index finger, and DON'T release pressure for at least 5-10 minutes. After I was cured, I WebMD'ed myself to make sure I wasn't dying, and fortunately I'm not. I guess nose bleeds are pretty common with colds/sinus infections, especially if you have been taking a blood thinner. I've been taking Ibuprofen for my horrible sore throat. My throat has been so painful for 4 days now, and not getting better. I've been taking Zicam (my mother swears by it) but it apparently isn't working. It's not really medicine though, just a dissolvable tablet packed with vitamins and minerals proved to significantly reduce the amount of time that you're sick. Whatever. I'm going to the store and buying Dayquil and Nyquil. 

So for those of you who never had a bloody nose as a kid, don't worry, you'll get yours soon enough. And when you do, don't worry, you aren't dying. Just follow the instructions above. 

Turns out that my laptop charger works.. has worked all along.. and I'm a fucking idiot. But I'm not going to get into that humiliation. All that matters is that I'M BACK and I don't have to waste money on a new charger that I actually don't need. Hurray.

Mine and Jake's 3 year anniversary was Saturday, and we spent Friday night down in Canyonville and stayed at Seven Feathers Casino Resort. It's the biggest casino in Oregon, and we had a blast.


We came back on Saturday and exchanged gifts and went out to dinner. JAKE GOT ME A SNOWBOARD!!!!! Now I'm fucking stoked to hit up the mountain. I'm praying that the weather this weekend will be clear. Snowboarding season is about over, and I haven't boarded in over 2 years. I'd hate to have to wait another year.

I finally made my resume, and I'm very pleased with it. I uploaded it onto the UO Joblink site and was excited to finally search for internships available that I may be qualified for. However, after over an hour of searching I realized that.. well.. there is none. At least through the site, anyway. Oh and Internships.com as well. That had absolutely nothing for me. Saying that I felt disappointed and discouraged is quite an understatement. I went through a period of complete panic. There were so many options, but I wasn't qualified for any of them! Now I wish I was a marketing or business major. They are buried with amazing options. The jobs that I can get post-grad require experience, and apparently there isn't anything available for me to experience. I guess I'm just gonna have to search harder. UGHHHH.

It's finally Spring Break, and I have nearly two whole weeks off of school before the last term of my college career. I'm stoked to have this time off, and I'm celebrating it by vegging in front of the TV at 4pm while still in my pajamas. It feels amazing to be relaxed and lazy, but I'm still not as de-stressed as I thought I'd be.

I met with the career counselor last Friday, and he showed me around a couple of UO websites that are used to find internships and job opportunities. I was hoping he would lead me to a certain internship, but apparently I was stupid to think that he would. There are a bunch of opportunities on those sites that I need to explore. I'll have to pick which ones are right for me and then apply to them. However, I have yet to make a resume. There's a resume builder on the site plus the counselor gave me a resume formatting guide. I know it's simple to make one, but why I'm I dreading to do it? I've been thinking up the lamest excuses to procrastinate it all. Seriously, I'm sitting in my pajamas at 4pm and haven't been doing anything but be completely lazy. I have NO reason not to start looking for an internship that I know I need ASAP. Why? Why am I putting this off? Why am I treating this like it's something to be scared of?

Maybe I'm scared of being rejected. Maybe I know that I am about to take a crucial step toward the rest of my life, and I'm horrified that I will screw up and make a regrettable decision. Thinking about life post-graduation is an overwhelming nightmare. Yes, I am scared of being rejected. Yes, I'm scared of putting hard work into something, only to end up with nothing. Yes, I am scared of making a wrong decision, and feeling regret later on in life. I'm scared of failing. Being in school was comforting for me. When I entered UO, I knew that I would be there for 4 years and I won't have to enter the real world until I graduate. When I finished my frosh year I knew I still had 3 years.. after my soph year I knew I still had 2 years, then 1 year when I finished my jr year. Now I will be pushed into the real world in 3 months. In 3 months I will either be volunteering through an internship, employed, or desperately unemployed. Now is the time for me to take action towards post-graduate employment, and I simply CAN'T procrastinate anymore.

I need to take the first step 

and build my freaking resume.

Tomorrow.

So today I stumbled upon a site called 20 Something Bloggers. It's an awesome community for bloggers who are 20-somethings, and since I am a 20-something I decided to sign up. I am brand new to the blogging world, and have no followers. The first post I created was just a way for me to vent about a horrible day without physically screaming my lungs out. I enjoyed it, and decided that I can do it on a regular basis (blog, not necessarily bitch about my bad day). The site needs to approve me before I'm an official member, so they will be viewing this blog.

If you are a 20-something, you should definitely check out this site.

Oh well. I guess all that I can do is wait for the career counselor to get back to me, meet with him, and just go from there. Worst case scenario: he tells me that there is nothing he can do for me, and just wishes me luck. In that case, my boyfriend will finally get his wish granted, and we'll move to Canada. 

I just wish it wasn't so damn cold up there.